After the Denial
by Kibou no Kizuna
Summary: Syaoran left Toemeda and his true love. Sakura's still heartbroken over the fact that she didn't tell him her feelings. Will she ever get to fix her mistake with the help of a stranger?
1. Admitting the Truth

After the Denial  
  
By: Light in the Darkness  
  
Disclaimer: The characters in CCS (Cardcaptor Sakura) do not belong to me. They belong to Clamp.   
  
Admitting the Truth:  
  
Sakura's room 12:00 A.M - Midnight  
  
Dear Syaoran,  
  
I want to tell you something that I couldn't say before. The first time you told me that you loved me I was shocked. I realized that I loved you after Yukito told me he didn't like me the way I liked him. After he told me, I went to the park. I was crying on your shoulder. I was so glad you were there to comfort me. That was when I remembered all the times that you were there for me. Even when we were rivals, fighting for the Clow Cards you were always there to save me from any danger I was in. Back then, I appreciated it because you were always so kind but now I appreciate it even more. Not because you helped me but because you were so kind and patient when I was in panic mode. I noticed that you are special and that there is nobody like you and because of your kindness towards me it made me feel different.   
  
When I'm with you I feel safe with no worries because,  
  
You're the only person in my life.  
  
Even when I talk to you, I still feel that little shiver  
  
Going down my spine while all the happiness that I have with you  
  
Goes through out my body and fills it with warmth from  
  
Our special bond with each other  
  
The only way this   
  
could have happened is by…  
  
Love.  
  
The love I had for Yukito is not the same kind of love I have for you and only you. When I got home, every day (when you were still here in Toemeda) I had questions of fear going through my head like:  
  
Love, what is love?  
  
Is it good or bad?  
  
Does it bring sorrow or happiness into someone's heart?  
  
Is it possible for love to make you weaker or stronger than you are now?  
  
Can someone's feelings define how strong their love is or does love have a mind of its own?  
  
Can you fear love and happiness?  
  
Can you fear having the feeling to trust because it might bring sadness into your life?  
  
I think I was scared of love because people say it can be the best thing in life but what if it doesn't work? Life and love is unpredictable. Today could be the best day of your life while tomorrow can be the worst. I think the only difference between life and love is that life can be controlled by the determination you have to fulfill something but love has a mind of its own. You can't control it. When you're in love, everyone has to be strong.  
  
I was thinking about this until I felt the presence of a Clow Card. Kero felt it too. It was The Return card. Before I captured it, you helped me because I was in trouble. Again. That was when I remembered all those questions I had in my head. When you protected me from the Clow Card, you also helped me realize that going through all the pain, happiness, and loneliness would be worth it because it would mean that I was going to be with you. So even though I was frightened to death about it I decided to tell you that I LOVE YOU!   
  
Everyday I tried gathering up the courage to tell you but I never got the chance to because something would always happen. I want to tell you that I love you so much right now but I want to tell you in person. Please write back to me.  
  
Love with all my heart,  
  
Sakura Kinomoto  
  
What do you think about it? I'm still writing more but I want to know what you think of it. I'll put the next chapter up if I get enough reviews. 


	2. Fragments of Memories: Changes From the ...

After the Denial By: Light in the Darkness 

Disclaimer: The characters in CCS (Cardcaptor Sakura) don't belong to me! They belong to Clamp!

_Fragments of Memories: Changes From the Past_

After Sakura was done reading it over again she sighed and crumpled it up. She wanted to tell her beloved Syaoran that she loves him in person not in a letter. Syaoran (the bear) was looking at Sakura. He/It was looking at Sakura wearing a dark green ribbon. Sakura looked outside her window. Just then, she saw a shooting star.

She gasped. "I wish, I wish. Oh shooting star, that Syaoran will come back so I can tell him my true feelings in person."

Sakura went to bed that morning dreaming about Syaoran coming back. She felt so happy she didn't realize that Kero was trying to wake her up.

When Sakura got back from school she immediately to her room. She changed out of her school uniform and into her home clothes. Sakura went to her desk and opened a draw. She dug into the back of the bottom draw and pulled out an envelope with a letter. She opened it. She blushed when she saw whom she addressed it to. The letter was for Syaoran. Sakura planned to give him the letter a few days before she knew he was going back to Hong Kong. She started to read her letter…

Dear Syaoran,

I need to tell you something very important but I don't think I'll ever have the guts to tell you. I have this strange feeling that something is going to happen to you. I don't know what but I don't want you to leave me all alone. I care about you too much to lose you.

Darkness 

Loneliness, fear, hatred, and comfort.

Before I met you I thought I was truly happy,

but when I first met you I knew

That there was something different about you.

Out of all the other people I know, you

were the most important person.

I finally realized how much I missed.

You opened my eyes.

Now when you're not here …

I feel loneliness and fear.

No matter how much

I wish for you to come and save me from the dark

but, I don't think it's possible to do that.

In the darkness it's pitch black. I can't see anything.

I keep walking around in circles trying to find you but I can't.

One time I actually fell and started to cry.

That's when I saw something.

It was a light. The light was growing brighter and brighter.

That's when I saw you. Your hand was stretched out trying to reach me.

When I grabbed your hand everything was pure bliss.

I was finally with you. I wasn't in the darkness anymore.

You found not only me but you found the key to my heart.

I never want to be alone again. I want to be with you.

I hope you understand what I mean. ;;; sighs --V Please tell me your answer soon. It's okay if it's not what I want to hear.

Love (and I literally mean 'love'),

Sakura Kinomoto 

There was two tears stained on the letter. One was old and one was new. "I wish I got the guts to actually tell him how I felt before he left." sniff, sniff "I miss my little wolf." Sakura buried her face into her pillow and started crying on her bed.

_Hey! I actually wrote this a really really really long time ago but I never actually put it up but I did now! I know this chapter kinda sucked but I still want your opinion on it so I can improve. So … PLEASE review! ._


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